Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Love and Marriage: Caroline's Advice

Part of our Love and Marriage series is to give advice about marriage and relationships, so as I pondered what "wisdom" I could share, all I could think about is how every time Sean and I tell someone that we are engaged, they always start their next sentence with " well you know what you should do....." Everyone seems to know the best way to be married or have a wedding, everyone is an expert and everyone has something to say. And we have found that the only thing we can do is nod and slowly walk way.

But how ever annoying it may be, we have found some really good advice and most of them have to do with trusting each other. As Sean and I have been preparing for marriage through pre-marriage counseling, we have really been able to break down and dissect what it is that causes us to fight, or be upset. Most of the time is boils down to a simple miscommunication and not trusting that we have each other's best interest in mind.

It’s hard to trust, even someone you love because up until now we have only really needed to look out for ourselves. It's hard to trust that someone else is going to be there for you and take care of you. So we have decided to trust each other. But it doesn't just happen overnight and it doesn't mean we don't have doubts or concerns. What it means is that we have to work on communicating better with each other.

Over the past few months we have really been able to see a change in how we trust each other through communication. Sharing and being clear about what we want and how we feel, has really shed on light on to the fact, that we want the same things. And I know the hope and the assumption is that we wouldn't be getting married if we didn't want the same things... it seems obvious. But sometimes its hard to remember when you are fighting about what color to paint the living room.

So while I haven't been married for 50 years and I don’t  know all the wonderful and scary things that marriage brings. All I know is that without my trust in Sean, or Sean;s trust in me, we can’t move forward or grow in our relationship.

So here’s to the next many many years of our lives together and here's to trusting that we will always have each others backs, because after all that's what best friends do!


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